This has to stop. The fact that you have resurfaced four times in the past eleven weeks is just NOT ACCEPTABLE. Do you get that? NOT ACCEPTABLE. You made me write in capitals. Twice. That’s how strongly I feel about this.
Now you’ve had your fun. You’ve spoiled some of my early festive plans, so now GO AWAY and let me enjoy the build-up to Christmas without a sore throat, runny nose, cough, headache or any of your other annoying symptoms. And energy? Yes, I would like some of that back too please. You obviously know where I live so please return it pronto.
Please give me back my taste buds so I can once again enjoy tea, Starbucks red cups, chocolate and other festive indulgences. I have a hot chocolate recipe which I am simply desperate to make, but there seems little point when my mouth tastes like I’ve been licking the armpit of a tramp whose just completed a Zumba class.
PAY ATTENTION! I’ve been taking those vitamin c and Echinacea tablets for a reason. The same reason that I’ve been eating enormous amounts of vegetables and not going out with wet hair. The reason? To ward you off!
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE ANY MORE – PLEASE DO NOT DARKEN MY DOOR AGAIN.