F***: Eye Surgery & Retinal Detachment – Unexpected Side Effects

Monkey with funny eyes

There are the side effects the doctors tell you about and then there’s, er, these…

1. Is that a fly or a floater? 

A pesky fly has made its way into the office. Your team are chasing it down. One person is holding a can of fly killer aloft, another  a rolled-up report – both ready to kill. The more humanitarian member of the team clutches at an empty glass and a piece of card. It was there a minute ago. Now where has it gone?

Aha!

You shout.

There it is!

Oh no!

Hold on a minute, there…

Nope…

Over there..

Oh hold on a minute that’s my floater not a fly, sorry!

2. I’ve never been very good at winking anyway. 

Seriously, I used to struggle with this as child, along with tying my laces and comprehending the concept of getting change when you purchased something (I always wanted the cashier to give me all the money back?!).

Anyway, it’s less of a winking issue but more of a closing eye issue. Y’see if I close my right eye (the one with the buckle) my left peeper stays fully open. If I close my left eye my right eye is open, but nowhere near as wide as my left one. Weirdly if I cover my left eye my right eye stays open to the max. Explain that one, in fact don’t… I’m already far too well acquainted with eye anatomy.

3. Have you gone for a smoky eye, or a splodgy eye look today? 

Y’see point 2 can make it difficult to apply your eye make-up. It’s a bit difficult applying make-up to your left eye lid when your right eye is trying to close. Add into the equation that when you’re a spectacle wearer you have to stand right-up-close to the mirror to be able to see what you’re doing in the first place and, well, it’s enough to turn you into a bright lips kinda girl. Weirdly though, practice makes perfect and I think I apply my eye-make-up better now than I ever used to. Result!

4. Sorry I didn’t see you there. 

No really I didn’t. Providing some comedy moments at work when people approach, or walk up to my desk from the right hand side and I simply don’t see them as they’re standing in my blind spot. Can be played when there’s someone you don’t want to see too. But more often than not it is genuine and can be a tad awkward!

5. Don’t worry about me. I’m just having my own private rave. 

I’ve always been partial to some Prodigy, house music, old skool dance, acid house, drum and bass, etc… etc… so I like to think of those occasional flashes as, a-hem, flashbacks to my fluffy boot wearing days.

6. The Girl does nothing. 

She doesn’t wash-up (doesn’t wash-up), never cleans up (no she never cleans up).

This was more of a post-surgery one for me, but certainly I struggled to see whether plates were clean or not, so it got me out of housework duties for a good while. Grey cloud, silver lining and all that.

7. No amount of carrot munching is going to help. 

Can we put a bit of light on the subject

is now one of my most over-used phrases, along with:

Can we put the big light on

It depends on your eye issue, but for me dark rooms means me not seeing things massively clearly.

Have you had any unusual side effects as the result of a health issue? Share in the comments below 🙂

Find out more about my eye problems here and here.

Find out some top tips for visiting the eye hospital here.

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2 thoughts on “F***: Eye Surgery & Retinal Detachment – Unexpected Side Effects

  1. Pingback: F***: Tips For Post Eye Surgery Recovery | Fabulous and other f* words

  2. Pingback: Fashion: A Spring Shopping Spree – Last Weekend’s Haul Revealed | Fabulous and other f* words

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